Personally, I do not want to turn this blog into a parenting blog or anything like that. Not my intention. There is also nothing wrong with blogs like that.
But this is my blog and I write it first and foremost for myself. As a journal, something to reflect on later. If people want to take time out to read it then that is a bonus and I do enjoy that as well.
I am obviously not intelligent enough to write what I mean. I am coming across smug and holier then thou. And I certainly, 100% never ever want to make any other mothers feel bad or convey that I am better then them. We are all trying to do the best we can.
When I said I took my daughter to a restaurant. I wasn’t trying to say, hey everyone. Look at me, look how great am I. Why aren’t you taking your kids to restaurants huh?? huh??
No. Not at all.
Frankly, I am extremely surprised that I did take her. When my pregnancy was coming to a close I thought to myself, mentally prepared myself, Laura, you won’t be going to restaurant for a very long time (Other then fast food most likely)
And I was ok with that.
However, I had my kid and she is so chilled out. I got super lucky.
We were out on a weekend away and it really would have been a shame if we couldn’t go out for a nice restaurant. What else were we going to eat for dinner besides in the country?? And the reason you don’t take a baby to a restaurant is partly the precious restaurant real estate a pram takes up and the big one, the noise a baby/toddler can make (That’s my conclusion, anyway). But she doesn’t make much noise at all. I know her. I knew I could do it and I wanted to give it a go. I was also prepared that if she did make peep, out she goes. We could also just leave if it was too much. I also had my husband and my parents there for support to. Which was a big factor. I haven’t been out to a decent restaurant with just my husband since having Audrey.
If my baby was a crier or unpredictable or anything else. Then no. I wouldn’t have even attempted it.
I also did NOT have to mention that I forumula feed my baby. It is no ones business but I chose to say it. (Plus I am an over-sharer, an open book, ask me and I will tell you. Nothing coy about me) I 100% believe that my super chilled, easy to take care of baby is all thanks to formula. IN MY CASE!
(I have spoken openly to another woman who exclusively forumla fed and she is not having the same luck I am having. Her child will only sleeps in 3 hour stints. And that is fine too)
I also didn’t want any breastfeeding mummas out there to compare. Because you can’t compare. Apples and Oranges. They both have their benefits.
When I was in hospital attempting my absolute hardest to breast feed I received very little help. The surgeries were written on my file and the nurses dismissed and waved it off that it was too hard basket.
I made the choice to leave hospital early because there was nothing keeping me there. I felt well, My baby was well. I would rather go home and keep attempting and have my husband around as support.
I won’t go into any more detail but a few days later I did the pros and cons for myself and my little family and formula feeding was the decision I made.
(And no, I didn’t feel guilty with that decision. I was crying my freaking eyeballs out though. All those crazy post pregnancy hormones. But feeling like a failure wasn’t on the cards. Life goes on and I will make do with the situation I’m in. No time to feel guilty or a failure. Let’s just concentrate on nourishing this cute little being)
I also wanted to state that I do formula feed. In hospital you could receive all the help in the world for breast feeding but there was ZERO help/pamphlets/information anything on forumla feeding. I had no clue what I was doing.
I was left to my own devices. I had to find my own way to the microwave. I had to just read the instructions on steam sterilizer box. Read the instructions on the tin of formula. I didn’t know what to do with the water. Boil the kettle?? Then what do you do with that water once you make one bottle. I was lost.
Once I was home I quickly came up with my own routine that works for us.
The other little list I wrote in my previous blog post was just to illustrate a different perspective. Everyone tells you the bad stuff. I was putting off motherhood because I wanted to be selfish for a quite a few more years to come. Being a mother all sounded way too hard and was like you lost yourself and your previous life when you have children and I was not ready for that kind of commitment. I was thoroughly enjoying the life I was having with my husband and that we could do what we liked when we liked.
I knew I wanted children though and one day it clicked in my head – Then what the hell are you waiting for!!! Make some babies.
So we did.
I have what I believe to be a really great job for someone who has small children. I work Saturday, Sunday and Monday. So I could have the baby and go back to work fairly soon because it won’t be a daycare situation for me (And I was fairly certain that breastfeeding wasn’t going to be possible and my mum will take care of her on the Mondays and husband and other family on the Saturday and Sunday)
But I was getting OVER this job. So over it and was considering moving on. But I thought it to be silly if I gave up this convenience/flexibility and that was the main push to have a baby at this time.
Back on track. I was starting to get a bit of anxiety towards the end of my pregnancy, like oh no, here comes the beginning of the end. No more sleep ins, no more going out. Life over. (This is just me being 100% honest. Not many people admit this stuff. I have other stuff I could admit. But I won’t I will leave that as private. Because I wrote it down and it sounded so horrible. But it is not at all what I meant and if you personally knew me you would understand but I see it as being very hard to understand for anyone else reading it as black and white words on a screen, so I’ll just omit)
But I found being proven wrong a very happy event indeed.
I didn’t think I would enjoy being a mother as much as I am.
. . .
Arghhh I am getting frustrated now. I am not getting my point across the way I want to. I am not the best writer. I have it in my head what I want to say, but it is not coming out at all the way I want it.
I just felt that most people tell you the bad stuff to prepare you for the worst (which is not a bad thing) and this could lead you to delaying mother hood (Like I was considering). But it the best thing I have ever done and people who want children shouldn’t delay it because of careers and studying and stuff like that because YOU CAN HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO!!! Only one person said that to me. and it resonated so much with me and in my case it 100% rained TRUE.
It is possible to juggle it all. I am a big women’s activist. We are fucking amazing and we are confident and we can fucking do it all and one handed might I add.
I just think some mums aren’t backing themselves enough. No/low confidence.
Shit lady, you can bloody do it! You can. It’s in there.
(But gosh darn it, if you tried, you gave it your all and it was difficult/overwhelming/didn’t enjoy. Then do not hesitate asking for help. We don’t need to be hero’s)
Maybe this is all a bit rich coming from me and my experience thus far. (I personally hate hearing advice from someone who hasn’t had adequate experience about certain things. and I feel like this is me right now. but I am not giving advice about how to raise a baby, just stating that some people need to believe in themselves more and gives certain things a go and not quit without even trying)
I know a friend who had a very difficult time and I read in a baby book I was given about babies that just cry for no reason whatsoever. That would be very different circumstances. (and there is so many different and unique circumstance and nearly everything and nothing is considered ‘normal’)
Also I am not breastfeeding so that would impact what you can and may have difficulty doing. And please not for one second am I saying that maybe you should consider formula feeding if you want things to be easier. I do believe breastfeeding is VERY important. (For the sake of 100% honesty and full disclose. When I am out and about I often stop and reflect, now what would I have done if I was breastfeeding right now? I personally do find that I have had it a hellava lot easier with formula feeding for myself)
But it doesn’t mean that you should take that path because I think it has been easier for me. (You must remember too, my circumstances are most likely very different to yours. I was already facing an uphill battle with breast feeding considering their history)
This is another thing that I have noticed. Just because one mumma does something one way that suits them, doesn’t mean it will suit you and you don’t have to copy.
Be informed, be confident and make your own choice.
. . .
I don’t want to come across as smug or anything like that. I just want to say, for me, with this child and so far!!! I have found it easy. I am not saying that to put anyone else down. I am just saying it. Plain and simple.
Well aware that shit could hit the fan and it all come crashing down. I have been waiting every day for it to happen because people say that to you, but it hasn’t happened yet.
People also say you can’t have 2 great children. You’re next one will surely be a brat.
Far out man!
This is the shit I have had to listen to.
(And the shit I am sure that every mum out there has to listen to!! WHY!! No. I felt like that was me saying that kind of shit yesterday when I put up that blog post. No!!! I hate woman bashing. I’m for the sisterhood!)
All I am trying to say is that. It is possible to have a great time, enjoy mother hood. It be easy, heck I am aiming for my 2nd to be as great as my first. Aiming that happy baby continues into happy toddler and beyond.
All you can do it is TRY!
If it doesn’t work out for me and I am eating my words and whinging to you all – I USE TO SLEEP PEOPLE. SHE USE TO SLEEP. NOW SHE DOESN’T WAHHHH!!!! Then so be it. Take it as it comes. You can’t predict this stuff.
No point being negative about it. Just hope for the best, remain positive and whatever will be will be.
. . .
Enough about that. I am scared to hit publish!!!
I don’t deal well with criticism. I fell bad and want to please everyone. But that is an realistic goal.
I’ve said what I wanted to say.
KITCHEN RENOVATION PLAN POSTS COMING UP VERY SOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
(I promise it WILL be happening, finalllllllyyyyyy)